Ladies, do you feel that laptop manufacturers just aren't catering for your needs? Well, stop worrying your pretty heads! Fujitsu has come to the rescue!
You know, laptop shopping is just so disheartening. Where are the pretty spangles, the little flourishes that mean a lady can truly call a laptop her own?
Finally, though — finally someone is addressing this horrible injustice. Fujitsu is here to save the day, with a series of laptops just for women. Floral Kiss is a new series that has been designed and created entirely for the previously untapped lady market.
And boy, is it elegant. You can tell it's elegant, because the words "elegant" and "elegance" have been used a total of nine times in the official press release. It has elegant diamantes accenting the power LED display and caps lock key, and in the AC adapter and mouse (which, additionally, are small so they "fit easily into the hands of all users"), the power button is an elegant faux pearl, and every button on the keyboard is elegantly ringed in gold.
Floral flourishes decorate the ports, and the laptop is available in three colours: "elegant white", "feminine pink" and "luxury brown".
But if you think that's good, wait until you hear about the custom included applications: Scrapbook, Diary and Daily Horoscopes. If it seems so amazing that someone at Fujitsu must have met a woman once, prepare to have your mind blown: it was designed by women.
But what about the specs? Ha ha, ladies don't want to know about specs. (OK, it has a Core i5 processor, Windows 8 and a 500GB hard drive. But that's all we need to know.)
Perhaps the pièce de résistance is the cover, which "features a flip latch that can easily open the display — even by users with long fingernails".
Thank goodness. Someone has finally figured out what women want.
Editor's note: this article was written with a heavy dose of sarcasm.