Ah, iTunes. Scourge of my days, bane of my life.
Not a week goes by in which you don't make me want to take my tiny fist and smash your smug pixels in.
Every time my computer grinds, chugging to a halt, as you gleefully savage my CPU.
Every time you freeze, because you've decided that loading a page is the most awful thing anyone has ever had to do, ever.
Every time you try to delete my apps, because I'm synced to two different computers.
Every time you — whoops! — lose my music while updating my iPod's firmware.
Every time you decide to stop playing the podcast I've downloaded, because I've gone to visit the store.
And, let's face it, that's not even the sum total of your problems.
Your search functions don't have nearly enough sorting options. I want to see all the new things. I want to see rising things. I want to visit a page and be able to see ratings before clicking into an item's page. If I can buy things without viewing the page, why not put the star rating there?
Sheesh, even Google can do it.
And tabs. Why can't we have some tabs?
Mind you, the way you currently run, iTunes, I think tabs would give you such a big conniption that you'd keel over and die.
See, here's the thing: you're actually pretty good at a lot of things. I like the very distinct categories you have for apps. I like that it's really easy to find something, if you know what to look for. I like the layouts you have, and I like that you have lists for the most popular apps and the highest grossing. You have the best app marketplace in the smartphone-iverse.
In theory, you ought to be great. Look at all the stuff you can do! You manage TV, podcasts, apps, university lectures, music, books. You ought to swim sleekly through your processes like a balletic sea lion; instead, you flop and flail like a demented beached manatee.
We're stuck with each other, so there's nothing I can do; but, damn it, iTunes, I just look at you and all I can see is wasted potential.
We could have been such friends.