Commentary Have you ever experienced a mobile phone user whom you wanted to pack up and ship to Miss Manners? Or have you ever witnessed a person on a mobile phone do something so completely rude that you stop in your tracks? I have, and it continues to intrigue me just how polarising mobile phones can be. Sure, almost everyone has one, but they can drive even their most loyal users crazy.
Though I write about mobile phones every day, even I think it makes perfect sense that mobile phones are continually cited in studies that say good manners have gone out of the window. You don't need a sociology degree to see just how handsets have changed how we relate to each other; and I'm not talking about their positive effects (though indeed there are some). Rather, I'm talking about how you can put a mobile phone in an otherwise courteous person's hand and then watch how that person loses all awareness of the people around him.
Let me emphasize that I'm no luddite. I think mobile phones are great and serve a very useful purpose. But just as people hide behind e-mail to avoid face-to-face communication, it's amazing how some mobile phone users think a handset makes them so much more important than everyone else. Here's some extreme behaviour I've seen and be sure to share your own experiences and advice, as well.
Be nice to the person behind the counter
Last week I was waiting in line to order lunch behind a man blabbing away on his phone. When he got to the counter, he handed the cafe employee a piece of paper with his order and said, "I'm on an important call." So is it just me or is that completely rude? Doesn't the person behind the lunch counter deserve just an ounce of respect? I think so. Next time Mr. Important, hang up or at least put your caller on hold.
Take it outside
I'm also in favour of taking your phone outside, or at least away from the table, when you get a call in a restaurant. No one around you, much less your tablemates, care to hear what you have to say. That is, unless your guiding someone to your table in a cavernous eatery. And if it's really important, you could always text. But even that has a limit, as well.
Use your inside voice
I'm always fascinated how people's voices (me included) automatically go up a few decibels when they get on a mobile phone. I can understand when you're using your phone in a crowd, near a construction site or next to your local airport runway, but it happens even in quiet rooms. I just don't get it.
You're welcome
Have you ever held the door for someone who's been on the phone without them acknowledging your presence? It happened to me last week. Remember folks: Even though you're on the phone you still exist in this world to other people.
Drive to distraction
I know I'll open a whole can of worms here but please, when you're driving with a phone use a headset. And whatever you do, don't text while driving. Yikes.
Yes, they're talking to you
I don't pay $10 to hear your mobile phone ring during a movie so turn it off. But if you absolutely have to keep your phone on, please turn it on vibrate. And please don't start talking until after you've left the theatre. It's just being polite. The same goes for weddings, funerals and other milestone events. At almost every function, we're asked to turn off our phones before the ceremony or proceedings begin and virtually every time, someone's phone rings and they slink out of the building. Remember that when they ask you to turn off your phone, they're talking to you.
Work out your body, not your mouth
I don't care how important you think you are, the gym is no place for a mobile phone. Don't talk when you're doing cardio and don't take up space on equipment so you can sit and catch up the latest gossip. If you're bored while you spin, read a magazine.
Not in the bathroom
Don't use your phone in a public restroom. That's just gross.
Remember the people around you
If you're out with a group of friends, it's fine to answer the phone for a few minutes. Just don't make that conversation more important than the one you're already having. Granted, I know I'm throwing stone from a glass house, but be courteous and keep it to a limit.
Bluetooth geeks
I've made no secret of the fact that I think wearing a Bluetooth headset when you're not talking on the phone just make you look like a geek. That's why I'm saying it again here.
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Dean
16/10/2007 07:19 PM
"I've made no secret of the fact that I think wearing a Bluetooth headset when you're not talking on the phone just make you look like a geek." -- Not a geek; a tool.
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canberra_photographer
16/10/2007 07:48 PM
kent, you sound like a relic, a grandma. Okay, the bathroom and movie theatre tips are spot on, and the one about driving while on the phone is too, as well as been a law. But lots of people, tradies, business people and geeks have ear pieces for convenience and safety in the car. If I want to talk on the phone in a cafe, I damn well will. And If a coffee shop over charging for coffee has a problem taking a quick verbal order while I'm on the phone, then they don't get my money. Get into the 21st century.
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ledzeppelinroadie
17/10/2007 05:04 PM
I work in retail and I can not tell you how many times some tard has stopped the line as they chat on the phone and ignore me ... in the middle of serving them. Layby lines are the devil, but the people behind you don't have to wait even longer just so you can catch up on the goss. Plus it is freaking rude.
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db
21/10/2007 12:53 AM
The psychology of mobile communication... It's as though many people suddenly start behaving like they're members of the secret service or similar, just because they are talking on a damn phone - behaving as though they are more important than anyone else around - the thing that's really curious, is that sometimes it's as though everyone else in the room / bus / cafe / toilet etc is supposed to be in awe and submit to the one self important mobile phone user. But then maybe the phone is just a symbol of this arrogance, or helps to bring out this attitude in people? In many newer areas of communication manners seem to have been left behind for some reason???
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canberra_photographer
25/10/2007 02:04 PM
...did i mention i was a tool?
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Hugh
10/05/2008 01:21 PM
I was driving a colleague of mine, who works for me, back to our office following a business meeting. She told me she needed to make a 'short' personal call on her mobile, which ultimately lasted for over 45 minutes. I told her when she ended the discussion that I thought she had been rude to spend that much time on the phone while I was driving and she was offended. Was I wrong in terms of etiquette?
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David M.
16/06/2008 07:52 PM
To call someone a geek and a grandma is offensive by any standards. This attitude underlies unmannerly use of mobile phones anywhere he wants to. When I'm having lunch with someone I consider it a minor social event, and it would be appropriate to turn the phone off because of good old fashioned manners. Manners have eased social communication for centuries, now manners have been uninvented. I have recently made an (amateur) animated film asking a concert audience to turn off their mobiles completely as a CCTV screen is used during the concert to give views of parets of the choir and orchestra, and also a DVD is later produced. A mobile could interfere with control equipments and ruin all the technicians' good work. Sitch off the phone and switch good manners back on! David M.
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